Loneliness

When I sit with individuals or couples to help them navigate various life issues, I will often hear them express the loneliness that they are currently feeling or have felt in the past. Many times, these same people, share that they are not often alone and in fact they are often surrounded by others. You can be around a lot of people and still feel lonely. If you’re curious as to why this can be the case I’d love to explain. I believe it has to do with connection. True connection is key to not feeling lonely.

So many times people don’t feel like they can be themselves. Maybe they fear being misunderstood or judged and so they feel the pressure of having to show up differently. This harms true connection. Connection is experienced when we get the chance to practice vulnerability and not be judged.

I often walk along side couples who are navigating relational conflict and have found that in many cases the one or both of the spouses express feeling lonely at some point in their marriage. When we feel disconnected we may likely feel more lonely. Connection can help us to feel seen, to feel heard, and to feel understood. Every individual longs to feel connected. I believe that it’s part of the way God designed us.

If you struggle with feelings of loneliness, I want to invite you to explore any personal barriers that may be keeping you from wanting to connect with others. I understand that it can feel hard. I understand that some of us have had painful experiences with others so connection can feel risky. Take time to honor what you’re feeling in a safe space perhaps with a counselor, a pastor, or a close friend.

When you are ready to take the next step, I want to encourage you to look for ways to connect with others. Look for people who allow you to express your thoughts and feelings without judgment. Look for others that express empathy. I love the power of groups because they often offer an opportunity to connect with others who may have shared similar experiences or struggles.

Connection can strengthen us when we need encouragement. Connection can help heal us and can offer us hope. True connection can remind us that we are not alone.